First, a definition: a pity party is the period after disappointment in which you get the sulks out of your system, in order to return to your usual self.

I am a believer in pity parties as long as they have a time limit on them. My personal policy is that pity parties should never last more than two days. That’s two days for all the binge eating and bitching you can handle but after that it’s time to suck it up and get back to work.

When I was really into acting, I copped alot of rejection. I’ve been rejected for looking too young on camera (despite being five years older than the character), for not being skinny enough and because I wasn’t a ‘good fit’ with the rest of the cast. Despite the advice of my acting teachers, each rejection felt personal and it hurt.

Every. Single. Time.

These experiences have made me pretty damn tough. (Trust me, once you’ve been rejected because you’re not attractive enough, a polite form rejection is nothing.) Even still, I was not prepared to handle the extended pity parties of other artists that I have been witnessing this year.

If you’re in pain I will do everything in my power to help you out. I’ll bring you tissues, I’ll send you encouraging emails and I’ll listen to your fears over coffee. But only for two days. After that, I’ll give you a kick in the kneecaps.

Why? Because extended pity parties turn artists into nasty creatures. Bitter artists rip shreds from anyone with a success story and rattle off absurd theories on why the industry is against them. And the disappointment keeps accumulating until they sabotage themselves, either by saying something stupid infront of an industry professional or to a loved one.

I understand your pain. Honestly, I do. But I’ve watched too many artists develop into bitter creatures. So for the sake of your sanity and mine, I have to keep to my pity party policy.


One thought on “MY PITY PARTY POLICY

  1. While I usually allow more than two days, I agree with your general principle. Certainly it’s a danger when people become bitter and paranoid and start thinking everyone has it easier than them. It’s good not to indulge those things too much.

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